Rumours of my death have been Greatly exaggerated
by Sophiacharlotte
Summary: He didn't know what he had till it was gone ...Caryl post season 5
1. Chapter 1

AN: alright I confess I'm writing a book. I'm sorry for my spotty updates and the state of my WIPs. I'm working full time as well as I am a mom. I'm trying :/ I love you all and your reviews please know I appreciate them. I've had a rough year...they brighten my day :) this will be two parts at the most...I promise. I would have finished it tonight buts 1:41 am here...here you go Vicki...:p

I do not own or profit from the walking Dead.

Xxxxx

She was drowning.

Carol looked about among the sea of casseroles. The safe zone was bustling with life as her group happily went about their way cooking food for the community after the recent herd and the brake in the wall.

It was all hands on deck, people working around the clock and her group was working in shifts to feed the entire community. Not just the bed ridden. Most of the women in her group were happy, to be contributing. They were snobs, in another lifetime she would have considered them upper middle class,they'd lucked out finding the safe zone early in the outbreak. They lived behind the walls. They were happy to help in whatever way they could, but they had no desire to be more, to be prepared. The survival switch had never flipped in their brain, they hadn't had to make the choice to be more.

Carol hated every single one of them. Jan and Sally, Yvonne and Sadie. She smiled when they spoke through gritted teeth. She laughed at their stupid jokes. She wore their stupid sweaters that they gave her. Her jaw hurt at the end of the day from clenching it so badly.

She wanted to be out helping clean up, she wanted to be going on runs to find needed supplies. She wanted to feel her knife in her hand again. She wanted more than this. She was drowning.

Maybe it was time to leave, time to set off on her own. She was hiding herself from so many people, her group still didn't know what happened to Lizza and Mika. The safezone residents still thought she was just like them, and Daryl...Daryl was a dream that would never happen.

She gave up on him, he was pulling away from her more than ever and she just didn't have the fight in her to call him on it. He barely spoke to her, her undercover act seeming to drive a wedge between them even further.

She was pissed at him. After everything they'd been through he just didn't care. He was letting the world break him. It wasn't fair...she knew he didn't know, he couldn't know what happened with Lizzie but she still resented the fact that while she rose above her pain, he sunk in his. It wasn't fair, everyone was different. It wasn't fair, he was allowed to feel how he did. She wasn't fair, he was allowed not to love her like she loved him she thought in pain, but she was pissed.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The fucking clean up would take forever.

Daryl grimaced as he stretched his back on the porch of the house. A bottle of some shitty rum he'd found on his last run with Aaron in his hand.

That's what his life had come to sitting there drinking rum like a fucking pirate, waiting on her.

He needed to know Carol was okay before he could sleep. He'd been keeping an eye on her since they had arrived, even if he had pulled away. He was trying to make it work at the safezone for Judith and Carl. They deserved walls around them, just like Beth had, just like Sophia had and Noah, and Lizzie and Mika, that's what you did for kids, for family. The problem was he'd realized Carol had become more than family, and that was a mighty big problem. He needed to know she was okay. He panicked if he lost track of her for too long. He dreamed of her on runs. She was too close and too close meant if he lost her he would feel it more than all.

So he watched her. Made sure she was alright. Happy that her little undercover mission didn't put her in jeopardy. She was alive, she was safe. He would spend the rest of his life living on the outskirts of the society at the safezone if it meant she was ok.

He heard her footsteps echoing down the street and took another swig of the sickeningly sweet rum.

He heard her footsteps falter when she saw him before she kept walking and looked up when she turned onto the side walk.

"You're late" he snarled suddenly angry.

He saw it, the hurt on her face, the surprise on her face before She steeled her back bone and mentally braced herself.

"Sorry the casserole squad ran late." She sighed moving to walk past him.

"You think this is funny? ..you're out after dark, after we just had a break in the fence. Do you even have a knife on you?" He huffed in her face.

She grimaced and turned "You're drunk Daryl...go to bed. I can take care of myself." She sighed.

Her eyes were dull, lifeless. The sparkle was gone and it made him pissed. He walked forward crowding her with his presence but she didn't back down. Somewhere in his brain he thought "That's my girl" but he couldn't back down. He was stupid drunk as Merle would call it and suddenly he needed to get some things off his chest.

"We all know you can take care of yourself." He yelled.

He could hear doors opening down the block, and heads poking out. He knew people were watching listening. He just didn't give a fuck. "What the hell is wrong with you, you walk around with this fake smile on your face, pretending like you don't know shit. Like you couldn't drop any one of these motherfuckers, like you didn't save out asses out there! You didn't want to go to hell so you decided you was going to be just like Jan, and her little casserole squad." He yelled. There it would be all over the safezone by morning the way gossip travelled around this place.

She was angry now, he saw it, he saw the flare in her eyes as she watched him. She wasn't afraid but if looks could kill he'd be lying on his death bed.

"That's rich coming from you, have you even showered yet? You do everything you can to set yourself apart. Really Daryl? drinking on the porch, carrying around dead animals? Why don't you wear a sign that says redneck drowning in pain and get it over with. God forbid your not perfect! GOD forbid you can't control fate. Sophia wasn't your fault! Neither was Beth. Beth was Maggie's sister...Sophia was MY child! We keep going, we keep moving." She screamed.

She was against the wall now he was directly in her face, sweat pouring down his face. "You ain't never dealt with Sophia so cut the bull shit. You won't even talk about Lizzie and Mika for fuck sakes." His voice was steely, his finger jabbing in her face coming a few millimetres from her nose.

"Daryl"

Rick and Michonne were behind them and the rest of the group scattered among the yard.

Her voice was cold as she responded "Do you want to know what happened to Lizzie and Mika? If it's so fucking important to you?."

She started talking, telling the story in sickeningly detail. It all came spilling out of her mouth in a grim monotone voice. She wouldn't look at him. He heard the group gasp. She was hanging her head, as he stepped back to let her pass.

He didn't know her at all anymore.

"Daryl!" Michonne snapped at him but he paid her no attention.

She looked up at him, her eyes filled with pain, the blue crystal depths drowning in tears , as he realized he'd spoken out loud

"Carol...wait." But she brushed him off, pushing her way in the house, without looking back.

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

"Daryl...wake up."

His head was pounding as he pulled the blankets over his head.

"Daryl."

"Go away Rick."

His head was pounding, he'd gotten shit faced out his mind after what happened with Carol on the porch last night. She'd locked herself in her room and wouldn't talk, so he'd downed the rest of his bottled and passed out on the couch.

Shit...he'd promised Glenn he'd go on a run with him today. He sighed rolling over, he needed to find Carol and apologize. He wasn't looking forward to it, he'd been an asshole when she'd finally been honest. He knew her, fuck he knew her better than anyone. He was an asshole and a mean drunk. He needed to apologize but first he needed to get the run over with.

"Tell Glenn I'll be a minute."

He noticed Rick's face then, the tears in his eyes, the way his hands were shaking. The group was behind him, Michonne embracing a visibly upset Carl.

"You missed the run Daryl... You were passed out. Carol went instead. She said her cover was blown..., it didn't matter anymore. She.." Rick's voice shook as he covered his mouth and Michonne placed a hand on his back.

Glenn stepped forward, visibly dishelved " She didn't make it back Daryl...she's gone."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Nicholas was a dead man when she got back to the safe zone Carol thought as she slammed her knife into the head of yet another walker. They'd gotten seperated from the group. Glenn had pulled aside, warned her that he didn't trust Nicholas, and with Tara down and Noah gone he'd wanted someone he could trust on the run.

It had been awkward this morning. No one wanted to address the elephant in the room in the form of the asshole passed out drunk, snoring to beat the band on the couch.

Finally Rick had spoken up looking at her intently. "You're the strongest person I know. We all know you...no one better than him." He said nodding towards Daryl.

She nodded, gasping in breaths as sobs escaped her body and she found herself in the middle of a group hug. "We all know you" Rick said placing his hands on her cheeks "and he does to...I'll talk to him. Love makes you do stupid.."

She shook her head no, looking over at him on the couch. "It's not like that for him." She said shaking her head.

"I think your wrong..." Rick said placing a kiss to her temple. "Just give it time...feel like breaking out your boots?" He said with a grin.

So she'd gone on the run in Daryl's place. A quick supermarket job, her Glenn and Nicholas. They'd gotten seperated, and Nicholas had taken off on the first sign of trouble. Leaving her to deal with a small herd. She'd worked her way backwards. Snagged her boot on a door and tore off a buckle, scrapped her leg as a piece of wood had jammed into it.

She'd hidden, the blood to much of a risk.

Glenn came back, she saw him from a distance, the herd had grown to large. He found the buckle. He saw the blood. She couldn't yell, it would draw to much attention. She tourniquet her leg, and waited them out.

She had water, it wasn't horrible. She imagined how angry Daryl would be when she finally got back. The night passed the herd moved on. She started her long walk back.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Daryl...you can't go out there right now...not like this."

Daryl moved around Rick with momentum. Two days, and seven hours and eighteen minutes. Since they told him. Since he died inside.

She was gone.

Nicholas had seen a herd pull her under, Glenn had found a buckle from her god damn boot. She loved those boots, those damn boots.

If he stopped moving he couldn't breath. The physical pain in his throat made it impossible to swallow. Hell it hurt to breath. Everything hurt and the pains in his chest stopped him short every once in awhile.

He'd killed her. Surely as if he pushed to that walker himself. Surely as if he held a knife to her throat. He bent over at the waist as his breath came in short gasps. Everyone he loved was taken away from him. Everything he touched he destroyed.

"Breath Daryl" Rick said "Breath."

He nodded, picturing her face. The glittering blue eyes that shined in the moonlight, the mischievous grin.

Screw Around?

Why hadn't he said yes? Why hadn't he said hell yes. He'd wanted too. She was gone. Everyone he loved was taken away from him. It had never hurt this bad, he was dying. He was sure of it. That was the only reason. Two years, two years he'd wasted. All the times he'd walked to her cell at the prison only to turn around and walk away. All the times he'd only grunted when she flirted, teased. He was such a poussey. They could have been together all that time. Two years he thought again as his breathing sped up.

"Daryl...you're going to pass out...BREATH!" Michonne said somewhere behind him.

"You can't go out like this...I won't let you." Rick said

"Stop me" he growled standing up continuing to pack his saddlebags in Aaron's garage.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Glenn and Maggie were the first to see her. Tired and dirty, she made her way up the walkway to the house after having been let in the gates.

Glenn had a plate in his hands which he dropped and the both stared at her mouths agape.

"Nicholas told you I was dead didn't he?" She said

They nodded before Glenn pratically flew down the stairs to embrace her.

"I'm so sorry...I believed him...I'm sorry." He muttered over and over.

"It's ok." She smiled embracing Maggie who was smiling. "I'm exhausted and starving and dirty. Let me eat and get a shower..you can let the others know that rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated."


	2. Chapter 2

AN: second part .. Let me know what you think:)

I do not own and or profit from The Walking Dead.

Xxxxxxxxx

It's ok." She smiled embracing Maggie who was smiling. "I'm exhausted and starving and dirty. Let me eat and get a shower..you can let the others know that rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated."

"Oh god Daryl." Maggie muttered looking at Glenn.

"What about him?" Carol said suddenly worried.

Maggie turned to Glenn "Go stop him...RUN." She said

Carol was confused as Glenn bolted down the street running.

"What's wrong?" Carol said again.

Maggie bit her lip, wrapping her arm around Carol as they walked into the house. "He's been...distraught." She said.

Carol nodded, she was sure after their fight he was blaming himself, taking on the blame. Like he had with Sophia, with Beth. Maggie grabbed her hand and spoke.

"No Carol you don't understand..I've never seen him like this...he sobbed when we told him, he's been taking..panic attacks...he..."

"HOLY SHIT!"

They were interrupted by Carl, who suddenly slammed into her, in a hug. She smiled hugging Carl as an incredulous Rosita and Sasha came in the room. Panic attacks, she thought that definetly did not sound like Daryl. She sighed it was time they talked.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Rick... This ain't fucking funny. Let me go."

Daryl pulled on his hand, currently handcuffed to a massive toolbox in Aaron's garage. Fucking Rick going in for a hug when he was getting ready to leave and then pulling a bait and switch. He had to get out, he had to get out of there... She was everywhere. He could feel her, he needed to breath.

"I'm sorry...you ain't leaving..not like this." Rick said sitting on a work bench in the garage "When you agree to stay...I'll let you go."

He reached out to try and surprise Rick who was sitting with the key in his hand, Rick let out an ooff, as Daryl punched him in the shoulder.

Daryl watched as Rick dropped the key, and it skidded across the floor, slipping into a drainage vent on the floor.

"You have got to be shitting me." Daryl muttered

"Huh...what were the odds of that?" Rick muttered as Glenn came barreling in the room. He paused, tacking in the scene, glancing at Daryl in concern motioning Rick over to him.

He watched Rick lean over so Glenn could whisper something and the shock that passed Rick's face with a sigh. What the fuck was going on now?

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The hot water was working. Carol groaned as she stepped into the shower. She wasn't used to being this dirty, it was funny, how quickly she had gotten used to being clean. A nice side benefit to her undercover situation.

She'd had a reunion with most of the group but Daryl, her stomach clenched in nervousness at the thought. They needed to talk. Everything was almost out in the open. She might as well go all in.

"You can't go in there Daryl she's in the shower!"

Carol turned as the commotion outside the door caught her attention.

"You gonna handcuff me?" Daryl snarled as the door opened. She grabbed a towel quickly wrapping it around her body, stepping out of the shower.

He looked horrible. His eyes were dark with almost bruising below them. His hair plastered to his head and he looked as though he'd lost five pounds in two days. A pair of handcuffs dangled from his wrists, and his chest was heaving as he walked forward. He was in front of her when he bent at the waist seeming to draw mouthfuls of air, before he fell to his knees.

"Daryl" she said softly when she realized he was crying.

His face was pressed to her belly as his shoulders shook.

He stood after a moment his face intense. His eyes giving her a steely look, as he shrugged off his vest and started to unbutton his shirt.

"what are you doing?" She asked a little breathless as his shirt was thrown off.

"Umm Daryl.." They both turned to the closed door as Rick spoke on the other side. "Here" Rick said as a key slid under the door "We're all gonna go do...stuff, ...and thangs. ."

Daryl walked over and grabbed the key "Rick handcuffed me to a tool bench handle to stop me from leaving...when they told me you were alive ...I ripped the handle off the door." His voice was soft. Hypnotic as he unhooked the handcuff and threw it to the ground.

He turned back to her as he started working on his buckle his hands were shaking.

"Daryl ...we should talk" she said.

He shook his head no "We talked too much already...damnit." He huffed as his shaky hands fumbled with his belt. "I'm trying to take a shower" he whispered, his voice breaking. "Just like you said."

She nodded and walked over to him, putting her hand over his. Her fingers slowly opening his belt buckle. His breath came out in soft gasps.

"We need to talk" she said

"What do we gotta say other than I'm an idiot...Please." He whispered closing his eyes.

She nodded stepping back and let her towel drop to her feet, pooling on the floor. "Ok"

He opened his eyes stepping forward with a groan. His hand coming out to touch her skin, still shaking. She smiled and took his palm, flattening it above her heart.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

Her heart was pounding under his hand. He could feel it pounding below his hand. This wasn't a dream.

"I'm gonna fuck up." He whispered hoarsely "but I know you..I know you better than anyone...I know you...I'm so sorry"

She smiled at him that sweet smile. The sparkle in her eyes, it was back. She took his hand and pulled him into the shower throwing a grin over her shoulder that was as sexy as fuck.

"I did say I would hose you down." She said with a wink.

Whatever blood wasn't already in his dick went shooting downward. As he started to drip. He couldn't wait anymore as he pushed her up against the wall if the stall.

"Be gentle" she whispered showing him the gash on her leg Maggie had stitched. He hissed.

"I'm gonna kill that fuck Nicholas, and ..." He trailed off when she kissed him.

The water sprayed down on his back it was lukewarm at best but he didn't care. He ran warm and his blood was so hot right now it was keeping him in control.

Their lips met in a frantic pace, her tongue sweeping into his mouth. He brought his mouth down to her neck and she panted. "No...leave him be, he's drowning in his secrets. Their's nothing left, our secrets are gone." She said as his fingers slid down her back palming her ass.

"I love ya, you know that right? " he said into her neck.

"Yeah" she sighed "now Daryl..I can't wait any longer."

He grabbed the thigh of her injured leg. Supporting it for her as he lined himself up with her entrance. He pushed in slowly feeling walls pulsing around him. She was so tight as she moaned and he sunk into her. He wanted to be slow, to make it sweet but suddenly he couldn't.

He was frantic. The time he thought she was dead, echoed in his mind as he pushed in and out of her tight wet heat. It seemed like every part of her was squeezing him inside, and he couldn't stop. He wanted it to last, he tried to restrain himself when she turned off the water. She pushed him back with a smile and he slid out of her with a whimper. Backing out of the shower she turned and bent herself over the vanity counter, looking at him over her shoulder.

He grasped her hips, and slid I to her, the new angle taking him deeper than before. He could see her in the mirror and the way her head, rolled back in ecstasy has he thrust into her. Her hooded eyes watched him in the mirror as well, as she pushed back into him. Urging him on.

"Daryl.." She said her voice a husky whisper. "Please...I love you too...but please.."

She needed it hard to. He understood in an instant. Two years of tension. He was like a powder keg ready to explode. He imagined she was too.

She leaned her cheek down, on the counter, one of her hands reaching down to finger her clit.

"Is this what you need?" He asked as he squeezed her hips harder to give himself purchase. He slammed into her, and heard her yell his name. Her fingers clenched reflexively and she nodded.

He couldn't keep this up for long, he thought as he pounded into her. She was so tight and hot. Every inch of her seemed to be milking him inside.

"Oh God, oh god" she moaned.

There was no secrets, nothing. Everything was out in the open now and he didn't know about her but he felt free. It was intoxicating. He'd never get enough of her, of this feeling. He'd been dead inside, and was given a second chance. She would never regret this he vowed. He would spend every day being grateful for this chance.

He felt her, getting tighter, his dick surged inside of her. "Baby" he muttered and then descended into none sense ramblings and cursing and she threw her head back and screamed.

He let go. Maybe for the first time in his life. Surrendered control. He was surging into her, as she spasmed around him bringing on his own orgasm. A hoarse growl ripping from his throat .

No more secrets, they were free.


End file.
